9/11 - OLD THOUGHTS AND NEW

 Today is the twentieth anniversary of the terrorist attack on the United States.  These attacks were my generation's "Pearl Harbor."  And our response was much the same - anger, fear, retaliation.

I was living in Maine at the time, working as a Pharmacy Technician at Walmart.  When the reports of the first tower being hit by an airplane came in, we really didn't think too much of it.  We all thought it was maybe some Piper Cub that got disoriented or something.  But then, we heard about the second tower, and thought, "Oh, no.  This is war."

The television sets were turned on all over the store, with one being immediately outside the pharmacy.  We did our work, with one eye on the events unfolding before our eyes at the same time.  I went home for lunch, to turn on the TV and watch it again, and again, and again.  

As the news poured forth, all of America was transfixed.  How could this possibly have happened?  What actually DID happen?  When the towers fell, and the Pentagon was attacked, we were beyond stunned.  So many emotions, and I don't think we really knew what to do with them.

Walmart ordered 500 American flags.  They were gone within the hour.  Donations began pouring in to benefit survivors and first-responders.  People seemed kinder to each other, more gentle in their dealings with others.  In some respects, the immediate aftermath showed America and its people at our best. 

Me?  I did what I always do when disaster strikes.  I wrote.

I decided to go back through my journals to see what I had written then, mostly to see if my views have changed over time.  What I wrote then is below:

My Response As A Christian

     This morning after church I went to breakfast at a little cafe' on Main Street.  This is not a fancy place, nor a busy one.  It serves plain food at decent prices.  I sat myself at the table in the middle of the room, with a view straight out the front screen door.

    Across the street on the left is a thrift store, decked out in Fall finery.  On the right is Eastman's Barber Shop, its red, white, and blue barber pole still, for now.  A flag is painted in the window, with the words, "God Bless America."  Between them, at the outer edge of the sidewalk, and about every 20 feet down Main Street, is a one-story flagpole, with the American flag at half-staff.

    I am confronted with the task of trying to make sense out of something that seems so senseless; of trying to find some semblance of peace in the midst of this act of war.

    My human nature calls for revenge, cries out for retaliation, makes me want to strike back, to kill and maim and make suffer those who were responsible. 

    But what must my response be as a Christian?  Do I throw the words of Jesus out the window because they seem inconvenient right now?

    The times Jesus lived in were troubled and turbulent.  The Middle Eastern peoples have been at war with each other as far back as anyone can remember.  Jihad is not new.  So, when Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'  But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer.  But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also..." And "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven..."  He was not speaking to a world at peace, but to a world already at enmity with itself.

    Are His words any less valid today, in this time and this place?   Is our world not also at war?  And does not St. Paul not speak to us in our time of trial as well?  "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.  If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengence is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."  No, "if your enemies are hungry feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

    Surely not!  Everything in me shouts out at the seeming folly of this.  But, Jesus didn't mean this.  He couldn't have meant this!  Surely not.  Surely not.

    Or did He?  Jesus gave us the only way to respond to violence and hatred - not with retribution and violence ourselves, but with love and with goodness.  "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."  If we respond to this crisis by bombing innocent men, women, and children who had no part in this horrible deed, how then are we different from those who perpetrated this act upon us?  Of course, we are allowed to defend ourselves, but in the process, let us not become tyrants and dictators to the world.

   After Pearl Harbor was bombed, people said, "The world will never be the same again."  And after President Kennedy was assassinated, people said, "The world will never be the same again."  And after the Oklahoma City bombing, and the Columbine shootings, and now this, people are saying, "The world will never be the same again."  And they are right.   Because when has the world ever been the same?

    It is not the tragedy that shapes us as a nation, as a people, and as individuals.  It is our response to the tragedy that shapes us.  Will we allow our lust for revenge to shape the path this country takes from this point forward?  Or will we take that extra step; swallow the bile that the thirst for revenge builds in us, and find ways to live peaceably with our neighbors?

    If we want a peaceful world, we must be a peaceful people.  As Americans, we have become insular and ignorant of the suffering of others in the world.  We care about ourselves and our quest for the almighty dollar instead of caring about Almighty God, His world, and those people less fortunate than ourselves.  

    Has our lust for power and wealth brought on this hatred of our land?  We see ourselves as The Good Guys, but were we the "good guys" when we slaughtered innocent women and children during the Gulf War, and then bulldozed their bodies into mass graves?  Were we the "good guys" when we rounded up loyal Japanese-Americans during World War II and herded them into camps in this country?  I believe we need to take a good, hard look at ourselves as a people and as a nation and see where we might begin to change our view of the world, and then change ourselves.

    I love this land.  I am an American, and I love this country.  I know that war is inevitable and that many innocent people will suffer.  It breaks my heart.  But my response as a Christian must always be to bless and not to curse, to overcome evil with good, to walk the second mile.  We are a proud and powerful nation and we will not be overcome in this.

    Yet, what an opportunity stands before us!  Let us show the world how Christian people respond to crises.  Not with bloodthirsty cries of, "Revenge!" but by going about our everyday business, with an extra degree of respect for others and concern for those different than ourselves.

    As we remember in prayer those victims, survivors, friends, families, police, firemen and women, and rescue workers, let us also hold up in prayer the violators as well as the violated.  "Pray for those who persecute you," Jesus said.  And even though we may not like it, He wouldn't have told us to do that unless it were the best course of action for us to take in crisis situations.

    Holy God, Holy Jesus, I pray today for all those who are suffering because of this tragedy.  It isn't easy for any of us to take Your words to heart right now.  It is so easy for us to succumb to the lust for revenge.  Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts, Lord.  Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.  Keep us strong in our defense, but let us not stoop to becoming tyrants ourselves.  Let us not take out on innocent people what a few have done.  Keep us from the sin of racism and prejudice.  Help us to find ways to heal and to bless.  May this tragedy make us kinder, and not angrier.  Give us eyes to see the suffering in the world around us, and give us the grace to help where we can.  Open our eyes, Lord, to see the good in the world around us; open our ears, to hear the truths others speak; and open our hearts to learn, through this tragedy, to listen to You.  Amen

As I read over the words I wrote twenty years ago, I find that not much has changed my outlook.  I am saddened that so many innocent lives have been taken as a result of that attack.  It hurts my heart that we don't seem to have learned much in twenty years.  I often despair of the course our country has taken in recent years.  We've become an increasingly angry, bitter, and selfish people.

I see much of my Quaker beliefs in what I wrote then.  Peace.  Nonviolence.  Compassion.  Maybe a certain naivete' that somehow Gandhi-style non-violence was actually doable in this modern age.  Now, I'm not so sure.  It seems every battle fought must be fought with screaming and shouting and parading around the streets with placards and banners.  

Back in the day, I remember that the Quakers would meet every Friday afternoon in front of the Art Museum for an hour of silent witness.  I don't know if they still do that today.  Would anyone even notice, today, if I sat on the corner for an hour in silent prayer?  Would it even matter?  

Ah, I see something else in my journal I feel moved to share.

A friend of mine wrote:  "There is no honorable way to fight an enemy like that.  They do not follow the rules of engagement.  They kill women and children and civilians without discretion.  Yet we refuse to break those very rules, which weakens us.  It's like tying up a wolf and letting a handful of small chihuahuas snap his heels until they take him down."

My response then was: " I don't think our refusal to break the rules of the most basic humanity weakens us at all.  If anything, it makes us stronger.  If we allow ourselves to throw our basic decency out just to get revenge, then we have placed ourselves in the same category as the terrorists.  This is war, and war is ugly and dirty and things happen in war that are not fair, and not nice, and not just or honest or decent.  But even knowing that, I think we need to keep our basic decency because if we don't, we run the risk of becoming a tyrant nation like those we claim to abhor."

Twenty years later, where are we as a country?  As a people?  As individuals?  Have we become kinder, more gentle, more compassionate?  It certainly doesn't look like it.  We certainly haven't become more peaceful.

But where does peace begin?  With the government?  With my neighbor?  With you?

With me?