Time and Money

Time and Money....

Doesn't it seem as though if you have one, you don't have the other? That's certainly the way I've been feeling lately. When I was working, I didn't seem to have enough time to do the things I wanted to do. No time to volunteer at the animal shelter. No time to read. No time to hang out with friends or go to the movies or go visit family. No time.

Well, now I've got time, and plenty of it. The trouble is, now that I'm not working, I don't have any money! Living so far out, away from town, any jaunt into town is a major undertaking. How can I volunteer at an animal shelter when gas is up over $3.00 a gallon, and the closest animal shelter worth volunteering at is an hour and a half away? Ditto movies, church, and fill-in-the-blank. And any job worth having is that same hour and a half away, so any money made is taken up with gas spent and time wasted.

It seems as though I sometimes go entire days and don't talk to anyone except my husband. I get bogged down in all the things I need to do around here to get and keep this place in showable condition, so when I do take a break I end up watching television, or playing stupid computer games. I know that I waste the time I do have doing things that are unimportant. There's something about living out here in the boonies that is just so stifling, that I find I just have precious little ambition to DO anything. I am a people person! I need daily contact with real people - I need to feel useful, I need to do useful things. I am not a hermit, and living out here is like having a constant wet blanket thrown over my ambition and saps my energy.

When I moved here I thought, "Oh good! Now I'll have time to write!" But lately I haven't written much. And haven't sold anything I have written. I think my short stories are good; some of them even make me cry, and I wrote them! But I stop short of submitting them to magazines because my stories tend to be "out of the box" stories, with no particular niche to put them in. So my idea of writing the "great American novel" has not exactly come to fruition.

And then there's quilting. Who would have thought that an activity that I didn't do for most of my life would suddenly become so important? I've had to pack away all my quilting stuff...all my fabric, my sewing table, all of it, because there's simply not enough room in this place. I did have my sewing place set up in the living room, and I found I was irritated all the time because it felt like this place was just too darn cramped. And if I turn my office room into the sewing room, then where does the office go?

I can't help but think of all the things I want to do when I finally get back to "civilization." Work, of course. Volunteer at an animal shelter (or even better, work at a vet's office). Get involved in church activities. Go play Bingo with family. Make some friends. I miss my family and friends more than you can possibly imagine. And nobody will ever come see me here. I feel isolated and alone, and I don't like it much.

So, for now, I play this waiting game. I apply everywhere I can think of to apply. I even got my Pharmacy Technician's license for the state of Virginia, just in case I get a job in Blacksburg! I am a capable, qualified, experienced woman...and employers never want to pay you what you're worth. I've been in the job market for over forty years, and a pharmacy technician for over thirteen years....I shouldn't have to work for seven bucks an hour. It's insulting to even be offered such a pittance. And I'm not an MLM kind of person. It's just not in my nature to strong-arm people into buying something they don't need or want.

But the important thing for me is this: I just want to be near my family and friends again...even if it means that I trade time for money. Because, for me anyway, time without money is a tough row to hoe.