Spiritual whiplash

Talk about spritual whiplash. I was a Quaker for some years, when I lived in Santa Barbara before. When I moved north, I became a Christian, and that particular Friends meeting didn't seem very accepting, so I moved on. Found an Episcopal church that "spoke to my condition," so I became an Episcopalian. Moved to Arkansas, where my community was more fundamental, and when the devil slithered in and took over, Chip and I attended a Presbyterian church. Moved back to California and attended the Methodist church for a while. Then back to the Episcopalians, with a varying degree of success. I was taken advantage of by an elder of the church (long story), but that didn't discourage me from Episcopalian worship. Now I've moved back to the SB area. Started attending the Episcopal church closest to me. Nice church, nice people. Don't have a bad word to say about them. But...the church is so big, and I get lost in a big church. It doesn't seem to matter if I'm there or not. Well, through one event and another, I decided to check out the SB Friends Meeting where I had been a member 31 years ago. Sitting in the silence of Meeting for Worship, I felt as if I'd come home. A few of the people I knew back then are gone, but a few I knew back then are still there. And afterwards it was so nice to have intelligent discourse with people of like mind. In this world we now live in, where presidential candidates spread talk of war and hatred and bigotry, it was refresing to hear words of peace. To hear that my little tiny voice can be a voice that speaks of love and gentleness and kindness amid the din of hate. Perhaps I cannot be beacon, but I can be a candle. Still, going from the pomp and splendor and ritual of Episcopal worship (which I still love, btw), to the simplicity and silence of Quaker Meeting is spiritual whiplish indeed. Still, perhaps this is why God called me home. Am I here to be a candle of hope in a world gone suddenly dark?